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The radio is playing 爱你! Muahaha.

It has been a hectic week. Piles of homework still unfinished. And there is a Chem SPA coming up. Not to forget yesterday's Physics SPA which I totally screwed. Very sad, but sigh its over. I just need to get full marks for the 'A' level paper. =)

When you are busy and tired, you tend to forget about stuffs. Every time my mum talks to me, the conversation rarely gets longer than a minute. I get uneasy really easily (rhymes -_-) I dont understand why I will feel pissed, and I just walk back to my room. I tell myself that I am just feeling tired and getting restless. But it repeats over and over again, and I realise that being tired is just

a lousy EXCUSE.

New Year is coming in less than 2 weeks and I haven't buy any new clothes. We haven't even buy new year goodies. Only my parents have been doing the spring cleaning almost everyday. I remember when I was younger we will all help out in the spring cleaning, and even went shopping for the new year goods. Now I barely have time to do that. My brothers are all working too.

Are we busy or what? I just don't think its a good excuse.

Urgh.

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Anyway, I was thinking about something that day. That is, what happens when we die?

Do we get to sleep forever? Sleep like we used to and never get to wake up?

Okok I wasnt getting pessimistic but was just really curious. Let us see... There have been so many attempts to try and explain what happens when we pass away. What happens when we walk into the light? (Assuming there will even be a light)

You may get into another dimension, you may see angels in heaven, you may see devil in hell, you meet some guy up there who will let you watch a video titled "Your life", the guy will give u your divine judgment, you will meet your late relatives, you get to drink some water which makes you forget everything, you get to meet yan luo wang who will decide whether you become a pig or chicken for your next life, ETC ETC

And you may even meet 5 people in heaven.

The explanations are endless. It depend on which you choose to believe. In fact, we can never know what it actually feels like until we die, until we get to experience it ourself. Nevertheless, there are people who have experienced near-death situations and came back and presented their theories like 'facts'. They:

- gained psychic abilities
- meet a guide
- feel a sense of overwhelming love and peace
- pass through a tunnel at great speed
- get to watch what happen to them 'from above'

In fact, a majority of individuals who experience an near death experience see it as a verification of the existence of an afterlife. Yet again, it could all have been just dreams made up by themselves of their expected afterlife.

But for once, let us not think about the religious and faith. I understand religions have been trying very hard to comfort us by reducing our fear on death. However, lets for once not talk about reincarnation, blah blah, entity, spirit, soul, eternity, divine, blinding light, resurrection, Armageddon. We think in the most scientific, empirical, methodological way. =)

First, our complex bio-physical organism will break down. Then we stop respiring, our heartbeat stops, and our body temperature starts to fall. Then the body become stiff and we start to rot. The body is usually buried or cremated.

Then,








Blank! Shouldn't it be just a void?

I found this from Wikipedia on the five stages of grief after we die:

1. Denial - The "This can't be real" stage.: "I'm not here, This isn't happening. I am still too young to die."
2. Anger - The "Why me?" stage.: "WHAT THE *TOOOT* (it isnt good to curse when u die i suppose) Why am I the only one?! Damn the others onboard the car!" (either referring to God, the deceased, or oneself)
3. Bargaining - The "If I do this, you’ll do that" stage.: "Just let me live to watch the last episode of Prison Break!"
4. Depression - The "Defeated" stage.: "I can't bear to face going through this, putting my family through this."
5. Acceptance - The "This is going to happen" stage.: "Good game. I'm ready. I admit I am a loser. Can we restart round?"

However, since our brain has stopped functioning, how the heck are we suppose to think! And not being able to think is unimaginable. Because its impossible to think about what you will be thinking when you are not supposed to be able to think. I have always been disturbed by this idea. Not being able to think, not being able to dream.

Just think about what it will be like, while not actually thinking.

Anyway, how do we even think? How can brain cells actually give rise to thoughts, or even store memories? The human mind itself is truly mystifying. Ok, that is another puzzling topic.

So, without the ability to think, the body is basically just an empty shell. And we make another scary assumption that there is no spirit at all. That means, our life has basically ended COMPLETELY. Its final.

We are gone, FOREVER EVER NEVER EVER FOREVER!

If not, what if there is spirit? Does heaven and hell even exists? Does yan luo wang even exists? Do angels and devils even exist? Can spirits really walk around just like they used to, but in a different dimension? (And we can peep at living people and make them feel uneasy, or somehow move stuffs around so they don't get to find it)

Scientist and supernatural investigators have tried to prove the existence of ghosts and spirits, but no concrete evidence can be found, at least not at this moment. And if you are not a very religious people like me, you will choose to think that when we die,






Void.

Not darkness or whiteness.

Just emptiness.



Its scary. =(

But don't get obsessed with the notion of death. I just thought it was a baffling topic which made me curious. Let us just enjoy our life for now. =)

Everyone will get their chance to experience what death actually feels like one day.