some thoughts

I remembered last time i read my brother's diary.

The entries got shorter and shorter.

The last few pages had the same entries.

Dear diary,

I have nothing to write today.

The remaining pages were empty...

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I cut my hair a few days back. Irritated by the long and frizzy hair that i am lazy to style with, I asked the hairdresser to cut 短短. Not 'spiky' or 'layer' anymore, but 'slope'. Now i really understand what is the difference. Now its really short, and i am just not used to my side view where all my hair at the back of my head is GONE.

...

I feel 矛盾.

I am bored rotting at home, but I am broke and lazy to leave the house.

I think i will be having a really boring holiday. Maybe just training, watching movies, wasting time on computer, watching tv, reading books... so boring.

It would have been nice to get a job and earn some money. I have so many items in my wishlist. I NEED to buy so many things.. And my bank account savings is now less than $500 again, and my mother tell me that having less than $500 means the bank will impose extra charges...

I need more $$!

But I have never worked before and is damn afraid of what is going to happen...

Regarding what i read in lihui's blog, I have something to say.. It is sad to see her feeling detached from the class. There may be just 6 girls in the class, but if i am not wrong, there isn't many canoe girls as well? Its true that in just a short period of 1 year, 'cliques' have formed in our class and almost everyone has found a group of classmates they are more comfortable with. But some may find it more at ease to be with people whom they spend more time together doing stuffs that they all enjoy (their cca), or best friends that they have already acquainted years ago.

2 years is awfully short for a meaningful friendship to occur, especially when everyone in class is having hectic schedules. And it may seems like, when you meet your classmates, you see "schoolwork", "assignments", "lectures", "tutorials".

I have experienced the feeling where you feel you are 'not a part' of a particular group of people. But i believe our classmates are not so hostile as to make people feel unwelcomed.

Have you really gave the girls in the class enough chance, and give yourself a chance to know them better? Or have you just chose to be with your teammates instead, whom spent hours with you training, sharing joy and pain.

We shouldnt just think of any relationship as an obligation. In fact, all relationships involve obligations. If you think of what you do as an obligation, everything will turn out fake and pretentious.

And if everytime, someone chooses to be with another group of friends, it will be really hard to make him/her feel like a part of the class. Spend some time, give everyone a chance, maybe your classmates can become your friends as well.

But definitely, no one have to be with people whom they detest or hate spending time with. JC life is short anyway, soon everyone will finish their 'A' levels and be separated. The choice of your memories still lies in your own hand.

I am bad with words. I just hope lihui dun scold me for being insensitive again, because i meant no harm. I just hope you know that, no matter what, everyone from 66, all 25 of us, are always more than happy to have you as a part of us.

Argh, I should just go and watch movies.