kill me

I am feeling bad. Couldn't sleep last night after I returned from class birthday party. And my throat is inflammed, ever since i inhaled some water through my nostrils a few days ago. The feelings sucks. And somehow it caused my nose to run and I have to clear it every minute, until my whole nose turned red and i got pimples under my nose.

Cursed throughout the night.

Dragged till 4am before I tried to sleep, but the runny nose JUST STOPS ME FROM SLEEPING.

So i started to emo think wild. Thinking how screwed up I am. Always disappointing myself with unaccomplished expectatations.
How screwed up my life is, turning night into day.
How lousy I am to always deceive myself into not spending time wisely.
How lonely i am, how unloved i am, how pathetic i am.

I find no goal in my life. No happiness and satisfaction living my life.

And i started thinking of ways to die painlessly. OMG then i stopped la. =(

In the end I slept at 5am and woke up at 730am for peer tutoring. My eyes were burning although im wearing a fresh pair of lenses. I think its the damn liquid which unfortunately has been recalled like my previous 2 brands but im too poor and lazy to buy a new one. Plus all the nose and throat shit and hope u understand how shitty i felt this morning.

Peer tutoring was really fun. Better if i had felt better. I really got a chinese malay and indian. They were quiet at first, probably afraid of me, just like I was afraid of them. But we ended up talking about Maplestory and their interests eventually. The girl was quiet and i thot she was bored but I was relieved to see her smile at my attempts-to-be-funny.

They were not as bad as I expected. In fact they could do most of the sums and questions. They say they are bad at fractions though, so will see how tomorrow. Have been a long time since I drew models.. And I actually had problems synthesizing some of the English sentences. Our preparation sucks though, most were impromptu teaching and sometimes we simply don't know how to explain.

Why is it "withdrawn" and not "withdrew" or "withdrawing"?

*stun*

Btw saw Mdm Ong and she still looks the same, and I heard Mr Menon is still the discipline master. Fierce DM and I rmb-ed he cancelled all our post-PSLE excursions because we behaved badly during the examinations. I rmb we actually 'cheated' for the oral exam. Hahaha...

And its June Holidays and my father have conveniently assumed that I wont need to spend. I am not trying to complain, but I seriously hope he would have been kind enough to give me more than just $50 for the whole month. I haven paid my phone bills for 2 mths already, and the 3rd one is coming soon. ****.

Time to rest. goodbye sucky life.