Back from NS

Hey people! Im back after 2 weeks in tekong! And it will most probably be another 2 weeks before my next bookout... because i din take good care of my 'wife' during field camp and it was stunned. :(

Had my field camp last week. First day into it and i was dreading it and praying for the last day to come...

The first few days we slept in bashas with our buddies. Sometimes we were lucky we got flat ground. Sometimes it was rocky and sometimes it caved inwards. But we were lucky because for 6 days there wasn't a single drop of rain. So all our stuffs remained dry and free from soil.

That night when we dug our shell scrape was damn tiring. We just dug and dug and dug. My shell scrape was under a damn rubber tree. I already tried to move as far as possible from it, to the extent that my buddy behind me had such a limited range of firing without hitting my ass. In the end i chopped off alot of roots which oozed alot of white sap. Luckily the tree din fall on me.

But chopping roots is still better than the rocks underneath. The 'kiang kiang kiang' sound made me want to give up... Furthermore i had to dig an extra long shell scrape to accommodate my long body. I ended up with a very sore back and blistered palms. :(

The nights during field camp was nice because the big and bright moon lit up the place. One night I just leaned on the rubber tree and looked up at the very round moon through the tree top, while eating the biscuits issued. It was cloudless and there were stars, and also alot of digging sound from those who were still desperately trying to dig their shellscrape.

But it was a memorable moment. It was the perfect time and location for some serious emo-ing. But i was too tired to think about anything except smiling retardedly at the bright moon while occasionally watching planes fly past. That night i just laid in my shell scrape and slept with the moonlit sky above me.

Btw, camo-ing sucks and now I grew alot more pimples... Couldn't wash my face properly for 6 days. I started itching too. :/

Field camp was tiring and disgusting, but in the end we still got over it... Its always like that. We dread it at first, but in the end when we accomplish something we look back and say "actually it wasn't that bad"..

Bleah I think I am getting damn boring. Ever since enlistment i think i have been smiling and laughing less. We still laugh at mindless stuffs though. But most of the time i just felt like stoning.

It has been mentally tiring these few weeks. You meet all sorts of people in NS. But when most of the people are competing for the same goal, we show our true colours. We are not innocent anymore. We do everything with a motive in mind. That is when u start to reminiscence JC days when everyone was humble and innocent.

I can't deny that I may not have been true to myself all these while, but I tried my best to be as 'me' as possible. In any case, I am not exactly desperate to enter command school. I helped because i really wanted to help (and so the platoon wont be punished for being slow). Sometimes I think what i say can piss off ppl too.

There was once our section was chatting and i was saying that i am that kind of person who keeps my unhappiness about others in mind and not confront them, and my buddy jokingly said that "this type of person is the most dangerous because they are usually the one backstabs others". It was then i realise how wary and cautious we still are about each other even after so much weeks. Its not easy to build up trust and bond in such a short period of time.

Its also hard to break through the invisible barrier of people you have just met, and even harder in a group of boys/men we don't really bother to understand one another. Something pisses them off and they just condemn that particular person, since they already have their own group of 'buddies'.

Till now there are few people in my platoon of 47 whom i really see myself confiding in. But in less than 3 weeks we will be posted to other units anyway. So im still glad that i made a few acquaintances. :)

Ok im proud of myself for writing so much although its pretty dull. But at least it feels better to write out what i am feeling instead of keeping it to myself.

I really miss my old classmates and school. Everyone is innocent and free, just lazing around in school going for lectures and chatting at class bench, going for breaks and outings... All the nice tutors and lecturers. Damn it its bringing tears to my eyes just thinking about it... I really should have treasured my time in school. Sometimes, i even miss volleyball trainings and the team.

I blu-tacked these photos on my cupboard and damn it i will be laughing retardedly while looking at them sometimes, realising how much i miss time back then. (and my hamsters)











Sigh, I really dread booking in now. See you guys soon. Hopefully i get to bookout maybe next friday for 'A' level results or my OC maybe nice enough to give those confined a half day off.

:)